I am Pagorn Bunme, my nickname is Parn. I am a third year student of English department at Payap University. My former school is Noncoonwittayakal Rajamangalapisek. I was born in a Buddhist family. My family was very poor. In my village, all the villagers believe in evil spirits. They are afraid of those spirits, and sacrifice, adore, and offer the best things to those spirits in order to please them. The villagers believe that if the spirits anger causes many bad things happened to their lives, illness and bad lucks. I was brought up as a spoiled child. My parents always gave me whatever I wanted, and I freely did what I wanted to do. But my mother always gave me an advice. My mother, she trusted me that I would not do bad things, and I’ve never let her down. I’ve never skipped classes, and my grades always satisfyingly came out.
I usually had a problem with my grandfather. I grandfather was extremely conservative. I did not like him very much. I always avoided to get close to him or even to walk pass by. My grandfather seemed not to like whatever I did very much. This was the reason the reason why I tended not to stay home much. I often stayed with my friend’s home. I would never stay home at the weekends or my spare time. I spent my time with all my friends, we liked to hung out and play games. Sometimes, whenever my friends were not home, I had to stay home which was I hated so much. My grandfather was very fussy also. He always complained everything I did. Sometimes, he complained for what I did not do. I was a quiet person. I became a stressed and depressed person. I tried to press all my anger inside. I felt like taking my life many times, but I held it inside because I loved my mother. I did not want her to feel sorry for me. My grandfather’s never given me his money whenever I asked. My grandfather had so much money,but he did not want to share at all. One day, my grandfather asked me to go buy a thing, but he forgot that he asked me. He thought I stole his money, I tried to explain him many times but I did not want to listen to me at all. I felt sad and painful about it. I tried to release the pain to my friends and my mother by talking around. I did not feel better at all anyway, it was liked the pain was not healed.
My brother in law also a person who always picked on me, he always tried to control my life. I thought that even my breath he could control. Every summer break I went to visit my older sister at Patumtani, one of the provinces in Thailand near Bangkok, my sister and my brother in law stayed there. I felt that both of them, my grandfather and my brother in law, were unreasonable. I’ve never felt happy when I was close to them. I pretended to be a good boy in front of them. Whenever I talked about it to my sister I would cry. I felt under pressure.
When I attended to Payap University, I felt so much relief because I was far away home. I did not feel stressed anymore. But I had to face problems here in Payap also. I did not understand what I studied at all. I had to study hard to understand it because all the subjects were in English, and the teachers also spoke in English. I also thought that if I gave up, I had to go back home which was so much more terrible than studying hard, so I told myself to hang on here. I heard that Payap University was a Christian University. When I first came here I asked the administrator if I had to be a Christian too. I was scared of being a Christian that time because it meant that I could not attend to temples anymore I thought.
One day, there was someone that I did not know who he was, came to talk to me personally about Jesus Christ. I pretended to understand what he said. I received Christ because I did not want him to lose his face. I’ve never experienced the change that the guy promised me so. In the second semester, I heard again about Jesus Christ I ignored about it immediately. The third time, one of my friends, his name was Jack, he came to talk to me about Jesus again. I felt offended because every time that Jack came to talk to me he would talk about God. I resisted him many times because it was against my family religion. No one in my family was a Christian. I always scolded at Jack every time that he came to talk to me about God. After that, many people came to share me the gospel. It sounded impossible to me because I did not believe that Jesus Christ could save sinners. After the Camp I accepted Christ on July 12th 2006 that time I went back to my room and asked God I wanted know Him. I also asked God for knowing Him more. I knew God more and more as I prayed. I believed in Jesus Christ after that day on.
It seems impossible that God changes my life. God teaches me many things such as a new way of thoughts toward life. I learn to love people more because God tells me to love one another if I love Him. I feel that I do not have much short temper now. I was an easily angered person. I learn to forgive. God helps me in my studies. I do well in school now. The Lord also teaches me to share the gospel with people surrounded me. God blesses me in so many things that are indescribable. God is there with me in every place, and always in my heart.
Last, I would like to encourage everyone who reads this message that God is able to change me, so is He to you. Although, things seem impossible to us, to God nothing is impossible. God cleansed my heart, and purified me from all sins, though I was the person who sinned and rejected Him all along. Now, I do believe and trust in the Lord with all my heart.
Editor’s Note: Minimal editing has been done to preserve the author’s thoughts and intents.